Everybody Hates Chain Snatching
chrisis.gif
Everybody Hates Chain Snatching was the 16th episode of the second season of Everybody Hates Chris. It was the 38th episode overall. It premired on February 26, 2007.

SHORT SUMMARY: When Chris ruins Malvo's plans to steal Vanessa's gold chain, he must figure out a way to replace it or pay the price to Malvo. Rochelle finds out that Julius has kept a credit card secret from her for over 15 years. Tonya tries to win Billy Ocean concert tickets from a radio station.

QUOTES:
Vanessa: Turns out he had a whole other family.
Narrator: That's all my mother needed to hear.
[Julius is at the dinner table with a Puerto Rican family and everyone is speaking Spanish]
Julius: Hey baby.
Puerto Rican Woman: Hey baby.
Puerto Rican Boy #1: Hello Father.
Puerto Rican Woman: How was work today?
Julius: Good.
Puerto Rican Boy #2: May I be excused?
Julius: No. You'd better eat that. That's 46 cents' worth of beans and rice.
Puerto Rican Woman: Don't worry baby, I'll put it on the credit card.
Julius: Oh. That's good, that's good.

Narrator: I was so good at sneakin' around, I thought about joinin' the CIA. [Malvo appears] Or maybe the DOA.
Malvo: I got a question for you, boy. What is today?
Chris: Uh, Wednesday?
Malvo: Nah! Today is two days after the day before yesterday.
Narrator: Malvo was an idiot savant—98% idiot, 2% savant.

Rochelle: You been hidin' a credit card, what else are you hidin'? Is Julius really your name? Oh, maybe you're the Green River Killer? Do you know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried? Who shot Kennedy? For all I know, you could be Batman!
Julius: I am not Batman.
[Julius is then seen dressed as Batman]
Julius: I'm Batman.

Narrator: For the first time in 15 years, my father got my mother to shut up.

To watch the full episode click HERE

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License