Everybody Hates Corleone
Everybody Hates Corleone was the 18th episode of Everybody Hates Chris. It premired on March 2, 2006. It was written by Felicia D. Henderson and directed by Chris Rock.

SHORT SUMMARY: The daily beatings at his school have Chris wanting to change schools. But when Julius and Rochelle won't let him change Chris resorts to attempts at getting himself expelled. Julius gets a job at a fish market. He makes more money, but his family is upset because he always comes home smelling like fish.

Rochelle: Oh, my God! Julius, what are you… sellin' a fish or sleepin' with a mermaid?

Narrator: It's been a year since my mom sent me to Corleone Junior High for a better education.
White kid: Jerk!
Narrator: Oh, I was gettin' a better education, all right: an education in misery! I was tired of my classes.
Ms. Morello: Inga-binga-binga-bunga. Chris, what tribe are you from?
Chris: I don't know.
Narrator: I still struggled to get sleep.
Chris: Goodnight, momma.
Rochelle: Goodnight, baby. [switches the light off and back on again] Chris! Get your butt up! It's time to go to school!
Chris: Rrrghhh!
Narrator: And worst of all, everybody hated me. The kids hated me. The teachers hated me. Even the lunch ladies hated me. [Chris gets chased by white kids, teachers and lunch ladies] But, the only good thing that happened to me at Corleone was meetin' Greg.

Rochelle: [to Julius] We'll look for other schools… and we'll look for other soap. You stink!
Narrator: From there, we tried performin' arts school.
Chris: [singing] Fame, I'm gonna live forever! I'm gonna learn how to fly!
Performing arts teacher: Next!
Narrator: We looked into Hebrew school.
Chris: [singing] Hava nagila, hava nagila, hava…
Jewish teacher: Next!
Narrator: We even tried old school.
Chris: [singing] I said a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie, to the hip, hip, hop, and you don't stop the rock it to the bang, bang, boogie, say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat!
Old school teacher: Next!
Chris: Ah wh—-

Caruso: Silly Negro.
Narrator: You know what? I think it's time for this silly Negro to get out of this school.

Julius: What if Jackie Robinson quit? What if George Washington Carver quit? What if Martin Luther King, Jr. quit?
Narrator: When my father had a point to make, he always started off strong, but he never ended that way.
Julius: What if Colonel Sanders quit? What if Apollo Creed quit? What if Katherine Jackson quit makin' kids?
Narrator: Ain't she a woman?
Julius: They might be The Jackson Three! What if Kool from Kool and the Gang quit? You think they would've gotten a record contract if they were just called "The Gang"?
Narrator: To this day, I can't tell you what my father said, but that smell stayed with me forever.

Julius: Let me in.
Rochelle: No. You smell.
Julius: That is the smell of a working man.
Rochelle: No, that is the smell of Aquaman.
Julius: Rochelle, open the door.
Rochelle: Look, baby, I understand that this job brings you more free time and more money, but I can't take it anymore! The kids can't breathe! I cannot sleep at night! Do you not know that I'm at that Laundromat every day? I've been burnin' so much incense, ten people came by here tryin' to buy reggae albums!
Narrator: [in a Jamaican accent] Hey, 'mon!
Julius: What you want me to do?
Rochelle: Quit!
Julius: I can't just quit! What kind of example would that be for the kids? Huh? Did Thurgood Marshall quit? Did Frederick Douglass quit? Did Booker T. Washington quit?
Rochelle: I don't know and I don't care. All I know is I want you to quit!
Julius: What about takin' the kids to Great Escape? Huh?
Drew: We don't wanna go nowhere with you.
Tonya: Yeah, Daddy! You stink!
[Rochelle hands Julius a bag of clean clothes]
Julius: What's this?
Rochelle: Clean clothes.
Julius: Where am I supposed to change?
Rochelle: I don't know. Why don't you ask them cats?
[Julius looks down, where a lot of cats are licking his feet]

To watch the full episode click HERE

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