Everybody Hates Houseguests was the seventh episode of the third season of Everybody Hates Chris. It was the 51st episode overall. It premired on November 12, 2007.
SHORT SUMMARY: With his dad out of town, Greg comes to stay at Chris' house and gets special treatment from Rochelle, which upsets Chris. Meanwhile, Julius gets a job as a cab driver and takes a passenger named Eddie (Tommy Davidson) on a road trip to Las Vegas for $1000 despite his initial reluctance to do so. Unfortunately, Eddie is a bank robber.
QUOTES:
Narrator: Greg had brought so much stuff, I couldn't tell if he was stayin' over or takin' over.
Chris: You wearin' Transformers pajamas? Man, you're 15!
Greg: I like to pray as different characters. That way God doesn't get bored with me. Tonight I'm Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. [in a robotic voice] Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Amen.
Narrator: He should pray for some self-esteem!
the kids are watching TV]
Greg: What are you doing?
Chris: Turning to MacGyver.
Greg: But I wanted to watch NOVA.
Tonya: NOVA?!? What is that?
Greg: It's a show on PBS about science as it relates to the universe.
Drew: Cool! That's almost like MacGyver.
Chris: Just like Lawrence Welk is like Soul Train.
Rochelle: Chris, Greg is your guest. Let him watch NOVA. [to Greg, serving dessert] Gelato?
Narrator: Is that Italian for "Jell-O?"
Greg: Thanks!
Narrator: I thought havin' Greg stay over would be fun. Probably what the Indians thought when they first saw Columbus.
Chris: Hey, Greg. What's up?
Greg: My dad's going out of town for a week. I have to stay with my grandmother. Not looking forward to it.
Chris: Why not?
[Greg and his grandmother are at a German party and a banner saying "Willkommen Greg!" is above everyone]
Greg's Grandmother: Left, right, left heel, right, left, right…
Greg: [angrily] Why didn't you wake me up?
Chris: You told me you didn't want me to do anything for you, so I didn't.
Greg: That didn't mean I wanted you to let me sleep through school. I missed the quarterly history test!
Chris: Well, maybe you shoulda gone to bed dressed as Superman. That way you coulda flown to school. [walks away]
Narrator: Good thing he doesn't have heat vision.
Narrator: Back at school, Greg was catching up on more than his studies.
Ms. Morello: What year did the American Revolution begin, Greg? Greg?!?
Greg: [waking up] 1942.
Ms. Morello: Greg, what's wrong with you? You're usually so alert.
Chris: It's because he's staying at my house for a week.
Ms. Morello: Oh my God, he's drunk?!? Did he have a 40 for breakfast?
Greg: I'm not drunk. I'm just not used to getting up so early.
Ms. Morello: Don't be ashamed. Chris' people have a history of being up when the rooster crows to go to work in the fields. Who could expect you to keep up? Go back to sleep.
Narrator: She was Don Imus in a dress.
Julius: How was it havin' Greg over?
Chris: Cool. Can he stay over again sometime?
Rochelle: Are you nuts?! I never worked so hard in my entire life!
Drew: And I want my bed back!
Tonya: And she is not makin' me eat no more tofu.
Julius: Whoa, you gave your brother's bed to Greg?!
Drew: And you sit up here washin' dishes for the white man!
Tonya: And that little TV show NOVA was boring!
Rochelle: I'm tired of bein' a vegetarian short-order cook!
To watch the full episode click HERE