Everybody Hates the Substitute
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Everybody Hates the Substitute was the 14th episode of the second season of Everybody Hates Chris. It was the 36th overall. It premired on February 12, 2007.

SHORT SUMMARY: After Ms. Morello goes to Africa, Chris is excited to get a black substitute teacher (Orlando Jones), but his enthusiasm quickly turns to dread when the substitute pressures him to get an A. Meanwhile, Julius gets frustrated with Mr. Omar because he keeps borrowing his phone. Tonya keeps getting Drew in trouble by telling Rochelle that he hit her.

QUOTES:
Mr. Newton: It's algebra, the math of the unknown.
Chris: Then I must be doing great, 'cause I don't know it.
Narrator: Algebra wasn't the only thing I didn't know, and everything I didn't know, he was determined to teach me. He taught me language.
Mr. Newton: Veni, vidi, vici. I came, I saw, I conquered.
Chris: Eenie, meenie, miney, mo, catch a tiger by the toe.
Narrator: He taught me history.
Mr. Newton: The Vitruvian Man.
Chris: The Hangman. Pick a letter.
Narrator: He taught me science.
Mr. Newton: Your turn.
Chris: Got anything bigger?
Narrator: Please don't kill me in the name of science, ribbit!

[Mr. Newton is dressed as a drill sergeant and squirting Chris, who's carrying a book in each hand, with a hose]
Mr. Newton: It's a B minus, all right?
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: Do you wanna learn?
Chris: Yes, sir!
Mr. Newton: Do you wanna quit?
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: Do you wanna go to another school?
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: Why?
Chris: 'Cause I have no other place to go!
Mr. Newton: Then you better answer my question: What's A squared plus B squared?
Chris: C squared!
Mr. Newton: I can't hear you!
Chris: C squared! It's C squared!
Mr. Newton: That's right! That's what I'm talkin' about!
Narrator: That was the worst wet T-shirt contest ever.

To watch the full episode click HERE

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